In October of 2013 my husband & I found out that we were going to be having our second beautiful baby due in June 2014! Words can not express how excited we were. My first is a boy and I was hoping for a sweet baby girl. On January 24th, we found out that we would be having our Madelyn Mae! My heart was full of JOY!
On May 9th, 2014 my husband’s sister Debbie was on her way to PA for my surprise baby shower and got into a car accident. Debbie went to heaven that day.
As the weeks went by I began to feel extremely overwhelmed with sadness, confusion and a ton of other emotions. I began to question God and ask Him why He would give us a baby now. I could barely take care of myself, husband and son. I couldn’t handle thinking of another person to take care of, especially a baby. Don’t get me wrong I loved my baby girl. I wanted my baby girl but I just wished it was in a different season of life. I struggled with feeling guilty and I was worried I wouldn’t be the best mom I could be to Madelyn.
I believe God speaks to us in different ways. In this moment God spoke to me through my mom. We were sitting and I was talking to her about some of my struggles and emotions. My mom began to share and gave me this verse:
Isaiah 61:3 “To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the lord has planted for his own glory.” (NLT version)
On June 10th, 2014 at 8:50 am Madelyn Mae entered into this world and I can’t imagine my life without her. This date will forever be marked as one of the best days in my life.
Even though we continue to mourn the lose of our beautiful Debbie, God has given our family a joyous blessing, a crown of beauty for ashes, Madelyn Mae. Madelyn continues to remind me of Debbie and her beauty. Her smiles strengthen me and remind me to continue to strive to be excellent in everything life throws at me.
Every once in awhile I read the card Debbie wrote us for our baby shower or look in Madelyn’s closet at the Yankee onesies she got her. Even though I wish Debbie was here I will always cherish these items and I will hold them close to my heart.
Hello my name is Tiffany. I am a mom to two beautiful children, Landon & Madelyn and a wife to my Prince Charming, David. A few of my favorite things are Disney, the beach, sharpies & post its.
Moms Are World Changers