Moms Are World Changers
“My eyes are worn out from weeping; my stomach is churning, my insides are poured on the ground…” Lamentations 2:11
Today is the day. The day that marks two years since I lost my sister Debbie. The day that was supposed to be a weekend of joy with a surprised baby shower for Madelyn but instead a funeral with tears, heartache and questions. Today is the day I think of what it should’ve been and wonder why you left us so young? Today is the day our lives changed forever.
A lot of us have these days. The day of questions, uncertainty and sorrow. The day of when we lost someone we loved, the day of our unborn child’s birthday…. It hurts extra these days.
I know that God is sovereign, but I still don’t understand why we have to go through such tragedies. I remember listening to “It is Well” by Bethel Music - it was sung by two of our dear friends at Debbie’s funeral. I am not going to lie it was a hard song to hear. I couldn’t even sing it. It was not well with my soul! I was upset, hurt and angry. I didn’t understand…It was supposed to be a fun weekend! We were all supposed to be together celebrating Maddie. It wasn’t supposed to be like this! For many months it was hard for me to hear this song.
In September of 2015 a dear friend of mine left this world unexpectedly. I was asked to sing “It is Well” by Bethel Music at her funeral. It brought back a lot of the same questions and emotions from Debbie’s death. I remember listening to the song one day in my bedroom. The kids were napping and I was asking God why? How can this be well with my soul? I began to weep in my bedroom as I listened to the bridge.
Through it all. Through it all my eyes are on you. Through it all. Through it all. It is well. Through it all. Through it all my eyes are on you. And it is well with me.”
I don’t think that God necessarily says what has happened is good and I don’t think He even expects us to understand why. Honestly, I really don’t think I will ever know why. He calls us to fix our eyes on Him through all circumstances. He never said this journey of life would be easy but He told me He would never leave me, nor forsake me. He promised me that I would never be alone on this journey and that He would be with me THROUGH IT ALL. It is well with my soul because of Him and when we fix our eyes on Him, He lets us know it is well. Doesn’t mean we have to understand or we don’t have days that we weep with sorrow. To me it means we have a Savior that holds us closely and gives us hope for tomorrow. He helps me focus on the beautiful life Debbie lived. The many hearts she continues to touch with her story and her legacy she left us through her daughter, and so much more. Some days are harder then others but that is why I can now sing, “Even so, It is well.”
We love you so very much and think of you everyday. You will always have a very special place in our family’s heart. Thank you for loving me and for always making me feel like I was your “real” sister. Your hugs were tight with love and your smile was contagious. Your words were bold and true and you showed true bravery and courage. You loved Jesus with your whole heart and you invested in your daughter’s life even when it was extremely hard at times. You were a true example of someone who wasn’t going let their past take their future! I love you forever! I am so proud of the women and life you lived!
Love your Sister,
Hello my name is Tiffany. I am a mom to two beautiful children, Landon & Madelyn and a wife to my Prince Charming, David. A few of my favorite things are Disney, the beach, sharpies & post its.